Ode to Potato Chips

My name is Mia and I like potato chips.  I mean, to be honest, it's more than like.  I LOVE potato chips.

When I was 4 and 1/2 and I had just started kindergarten, I tasted them for the first time.  A child raised on dried green beans and dehydrated apple rings for snacks, I had no name for these crunchy bits of goodness.  But I told my mom about them.  Someone had them in their lunch and shared with me (this was before the days of peanut allergies, I guess).  And could you please get them for my lunch?  They were salty, kind of yellowish, round and crunchy?  Know what I'm talking about?

not my chips :(

No idea, my mom shrugged her shoulders.  Don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, she knew.  She knew exactly what I was describing, and perhaps how damned addictive they are.  Well, there was no stopping me.  Salt, no salt, ridges, ruffles, thick cut, kettle cooked, olive oil, they are so tasty.  I am pro-potato, anti-fake chips (read: Pringles, o'lean products) or ick! baked chips.  I believe there are times in our lives when the combination of oil, salt, and ever-so-thinly-sliced potato crisps can heal what ails us.  Heck, even my nutritionist, back in the day of chemotherapy, told me that while they are not the most nutrient-rich food on earth (big shocker), if that's all I had an appetite for to go to town on those bad boys.

You can have your ice cream.  You can have your Belgian chocolates (except that last one in the pantry), you can have your cheesecake.

Leave me the chips.*



*Will accept french fries, frites, shoe strings or fresh tater tots as acceptable substitutions.

Time

Some weeks feel like they take a month to pass, say for example, when you are sick, or waiting for results.  But occasionally, time passes in real time. And it moves fast.

working on his own version of Van Gogh's Sunflowers

modeling his newly imported "football" jersey from Paris

celebrating his half birthday with a buttermilk cake with fresh berries

True Story

There I am, minding my own business, when WHAM - nasty germ 0157 comes strolling into my gut.  Of course, we had no idea what it was until about a week after the symptoms began, but we knew enough to head the ER.  Twice.

Rough timeline:
Sunday: Woke in the wee hours of the morning with some belly cramps.  Could not fall back to sleep.
Monday: Belly hurt all day long, doctors think it is viral, or possibly a side effect from a medication.  Tell me to carry on.
Tuesday: Bad belly business (I am leaving out the details for your own stomach's sake).
Wednesday: Finally call the dr, she brings me in around 1 pm.  Promptly sends me to the emergency room, possible appendicitis?  IV fluids and a few hours later, I go home.  I feel hungry so I eat a banana, some diluted apple juice, and a few tiny pretzel sticks.  WRONG. WRONG. BAD MOVE. WRONG WRONG WRONG.  The night is long and the tummy is sad.
Thursday: Judah goes to school and I return to the ER, where they admit me to the observation floor.  We wait for lab results.  Possibly infectious colitis?  Dilaudid gives me a few precious hours of sleep.
Friday: The pain begins to subside (thank heavens) and I get moved (thank heavens) up to the 6th floor, where the bed is comfy and the halls are quiet.  I sleep 6 hours (only woken once by the dang IV machine).  Aaah.
Saturday:  IV fluids are disconnected.  I tell my doctor I must leave soon because I had been planning an anniversary party for my parents that is scheduled for the next day.  They begin to give me starches in addition to the clear liquids to ensure I can handle solid food.  3 pm surprise! Discharge papers have been handed to me.  Go home.  SHOWER!  Aaaah.
Sunday: Attend party.  All goes well (though I was a bit clammy), though I'm sure I overdid it.  Late that night I discover a voicemail from my doctor.  She calls me at 11 pm to tell me the last cultures came back E. Coli 0157.  Ew.

In between all of those bits and pieces, of course there was Judah.  He was definitely thrown by my need to stay in the hospital.  One afternoon he confided in me that he had woken up at 3:30 am, crying because he dreamed I was home but I wasn't.  Oy.

All I kept thinking was how grateful I am that he was so much younger when I had chemo.  He barely remembers and while he showed signs of separation anxiety, he had no clue quite how serious the situation was.  Still, kind of a traumatizing week for us.  Quite glad to be home and slowly recovering.

I have decided to hire some professional cleaners with their professional cleaning supplies (bleach approved!).  E. Coli is nothing to mess around with.  I want nary a speck, not a microbe left in my house, lest any of my loved ones travel down last week's path.

Be happy to send my trash wrapped in a ribbon to those tea party politicians down on Capitol Hill.

xo

for the win

Typically you know that I love to support LLS, mainly through their annual Light the Night campaign.  In the past 3 years, we have walked proudly with our team and our balloons.  This year, due to some scheduling issues, we cannot participate.

I still feel the need to give back to the cancer community at large and volunteer doing something helpful.  When LLS contacted me about being an honorary captain (again) at the HEADstrong Foundation's Nick Colleluori Classic (Lacrosse Tournament), I was game.  HEADstrong is a foundation started by Nick Colleluori, a lacrosse player at Hofstra, who passed away in 2006 from Non-Hodgkins.  His passion was lacrosse and he came up with the idea to help raise blood cancer awareness and to aid families affected by the disease.  To date, HEADstrong has raised over $4 million towards their mission and their events continue to grow in success each year.

Where do I come in?  The job is to meet the team, tell your story, and help them put a face to blood cancer.  This year, Dan and Judah came along with me to cheer the team I was matched with, VMI. (Those of you who know me are aware I am not the athletic type.  So this is pretty much as close as I'm ever gonna get.)

1 2 3 GO VMI

The guys were great - we sat on the bench to watch the game, got to hear them cheer for each other (perfect for Judah as he works through issues of sportsmanship playing soccer), and see them WIN!

But the most special part for me was discovering that prior to playing their second game, every player on the team had registered on our National Bone Marrow Registry.  They were the only team to make such a commitment that day and I can only hope that the other teams followed their lead.

guess who wants a lacrosse stick for hanukkah?

After the game, the team invited us back to their tent, where plenty of parents were waiting to congratulate and feed them (the love and pride was obvious).  The coaches and captains presented us with a jersey signed by the team, hats just like the ones the coaches wore, and a special commemorative coin given out to the lacrosse players who go on to serve in one of the 4 divisions of the military.

the team

coaches and captains (and us)

All in all, a very valuable and memorable experience.  Cancer has definitely taken us to places we never thought we'd go.  Some days have been very dark, but this was a bright spot for sure.

Thank you VMI Lacrosse Team!  Wishing you a great season.

Breaking Up With Barium

tip: never show up empty handed to an onc appt.

No more scans.  According to my main man, Dr. Henry, I have been overscanned already.  And especially now that there has been deliberate discussion (June 2013 ASCO Conference, Chicago) on the topic of post-treatment surveillance, the oncs across the land have determined that past the first year, the likelihood of finding a relapse thru xrays is unlikely.  They have found that more relapses are discovered through reporting of symptoms and/or bloodwork.

Will I never see my onc again?  Nah, not bloody likely.  I still have a few more years before using the "c" word.  Even writing about my chances of a relapse makes me feel like I'm tempting fate, so I won't get into the numbers game.  I will continue to go for checkups every 6 months.  These visits include running labs (the oncology vampires are consistently diurnal) and reporting symptoms.

But no more scans.  No more scanxiety, no barium, no waiting for results.  Hopefully forever, but I'll be happy if we can just say for a very long time.  This is big.  It's strange, it feels even better than my first clean scan.  Of course those results were a big relief and that was a joyful day.  But, I am close to 3 years out of treatment.  I am ready to be DONE.

From where I stand today (okay, let's be honest, I'm sitting on the couch), it's often hard to believe it happened.  If it weren't for the scars, the tattoos, the infertility, the shortness of breath, the dizziness, and the fatigue...  Okay, my life is definitely different.  But my hair has grown out, my brows and lashes have returned, and most importantly my adult acne continues to plague me (what? chemo = clear skin).  It appears to me that I once had cancer, but do not anymore.

To celebrate the fantastic news, my appointment-partner-in-crime (mom) and I went to HipCityVeg for a quick lunch, and now I am waiting for my challah dough to rise.  I'm ignoring the fact that the car needed $1000 of new brake pads and the dishwasher will cost more than $200 to replace the panel.  This is part of life.  And I am living it.

***

no sitter on a saturday night but that's ok

On a side note, I seriously feel the need to extend my deep deep gratitude to so many of you who have supported and encouraged me through the past 3 years, even if only by reading my blog anonymously.  It has not been easy and I'm not the most flexible girl in the world (especially for those who live with me).  To imagine having survived this crisis without the team is impossible, and I hope that when you need me, that I can be a member of your team as well.  I am quite grateful that when I reached out, so many reached back.

Wishing all of my TMM members a very happy and *healthy* 5774 (OR a prosperous 2013-2014 school year).

Much love,
Mia

Just Peachy

what's left of the yellow haul

A tidbit of insight for you on this fine, Friday morning:

Whatever the problem is, coffee is the solution.

And now, onto the next order of business.
Bragging.  Cause seriously, how many of you can say you walked into your doctor's office - no appointment - and he called you back and reviewed your scan disk with you and your 6 year old on the spot?  Anyone?  It was practically drive thru service.  This is a good man.  I love him.  I can't help it.

white

from the farm share

Still, the official report is not yet in - I have a call into my main onc - but my #1 phone-call-returner aka Dr. Drive Thru says he did not see anything too worrisome.  There is some thickening near my aorta.  I'm too afraid to google what that could mean as far as permanent damage from radiation, so for now I'm going to pretend I never heard him say that, and just relax with a cup of coffee.

Plan for the day as we wait out the return phone call with the official word?  Use up our superfluous peach supply, fresh from Tuesday's picking, now ripe and ready to be used in peach cobbler, roasted peach and coconut popsicles, stewed peaches (to be eaten over yogurt), and this almond crisped peach deal from smitten kitchen.

Must keep busy.

Bad Blogger

happy camper

Imagine I'm getting a slap on the wrist for going almost 2 months without writing.  Summer was both busy and relaxing.  Judah loved day camp, and I had some time to myself.  I worked on moving a little bit here and there (my cardiologist wants to get me off of my meds), though I'm not sure I'm ready to wean just yet.  A friend and I started meeting regularly for Writing Club, where I set a goal to work on my book (or rather, turning my first blog into one).  But, as you can imagine, we had too much fun together and ended up doing more talking than writing.

We had day trips to the beach, lots of work done on our house (we were past due on a new front walk, having the chimney pointed and capped, driveway re-finished...), an emergency fridge replacement, visited with family both at home and in Brooklyn,  and even a few lovely walks through Valley Green.

beachy

rainbow loom obsession

what we did with the one day strawberry sale at WF

just a sample of the work done on our property...

Most recently, the past two weeks our family took a monster road trip from Maryland, to DC, Virginia, West Virginia, back to PA.  We visited with family, met up with friends, camped out, cooked over a campfire (2 really successful meals!), saw the sights, hiked, photographed, explored caverns, tubed down a mountain, fed buffalo and elk, pet a million rabbits/goats/sheep, went down water slides and rode the rides at Hershey Park, and on and on...  Dan planned it all and we loved spending x-treme family time together.  No, really, it was truly fun.

we were delirious from the freezing cold temps of shenandoah nights

evidence of at least one campfire success

stunning sunset in Pittsburgh

This lovely elk took a cracker from his mouth

I MADE (edible) FOOD! 

And we are now in the beginning of the end.  Dan started his teacher in-service today, Judah will begin 1st grade in a week (AH!) and soon after that, I will go back to work to find out where I'll be working this year (since the school I was assigned to last year was closed by the district).

I'm kinda grumpy as I have a scan coming up in 2 days and I have a new feeling about it.  I'm not anxious as much as annoyed.  I don't WANT to have a scan.  I don't want to HAVE to have a scan.  I am finally (almost 3 years later) ready to put this cancer business behind me.  Hopefully, if all goes well, this will be my last scan for a very long time (I still can't think in terms of forever).

Not complaining, really, after yesterday Judah finally got me to plug in his "iPod touch" (actually just my old phone) and add new music for him.  Ever since, he has been listening to (aka singing at the top of his lungs) all of our songs with headphones on (think Citizen Cope meets The Lorax soundtrack).  At this very moment, he is belting out a little Indigo Girls, "I went to the mountain, I went to the mountain...", so how can I possibly be grumpy?