Friday, July 12, 2013

On Not Having Cancer

Any day you don't have cancer would seem like a reason to celebrate.  I'm not sure everyone knows about this little secret, but it's true.  We get so wrapped up in all of life's other sufferings - big and small - we tend to overlook the simple fact that if there is a day when you don't have to fight for your life, we should call it a good one.

As you may have guessed, that thing on my right ovary is not currently cancerous.  I still don't know exactly what it is (since I haven't directly conversed with the doctor yet), but I at least know what it isn't.  And right now, that's good enough for me.

gratuitous photo of potato gnocchi I made (from scratch!) this week for dinner

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

No Fun

happy cat picture source
Being a grownup is not nearly as fun as it was supposed to be.  What happened to the all-you-can-eat-dessert-as-dinner?  Staying up late?  Talking endlessly to your friends on the phone (with no one to tell you it's time to hang up and give some one else a turn)?  Taking pleasure in going out for a slurpee?

You guys, adulthood is a bitch and then some.

Today, I am waiting for results.  One of my many doctors caught a growing, dense cyst on my right ovary a few weeks ago.  Yes, I am well aware that cysts are common and women get them all the time.  And this one could be benign.  But in the matter of a few days, this thing grew and changed shape, so it warranted further investigation.

"Do you have any history of Cancer to yourself?"
Who writes these surveys??
and ps. I love the next 3 questions - by themselves and together.

I just got back from the spa (and by spa, I mean hospital) where I had my "wrap" this morning (and by wrap I mean pelvic mri).  It was truly obnoxious, being papoosed to the plank, grill velcro'ed to your abdomen, breathing belt buckled across your belly.  I've had an MRI before, but I'm definitely more experienced in the CT/PET department.  In the MRI, you get to choose your music, but you have to tolerate that incessant pounding, and the girl interrupting G. Love every other minute to tell you to stop breathing so they can get a still image of your lady bits.

Then comes the contrast.  Different from the CT contrast (dye), the MRI contrast spreads a tingle through your entire body, one area at a time.  You get to even taste it.  Like an appetizer, but calorie-free.  I know, I have a knack for finding the best full body treatments out there.

Finally, I was done.

And now, we wait.  Worst case scenario is (obv) cancer.  Again.  Other possibilities  dermoid or endometrioma, which may or may not require surgery (probably laparoscopic - been there done that already) to be removed.  I don't mean to be a complainer, I'm just wondering when the black cloud will be clearing for good and I do not feel like being grateful today.  I can handle the rainy English spring, it's this frickin monsoon that is bringing me down.

ps. If you're not already reading David Sedaris' newest book, you should be.