Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Lucky Break

Eek!  I've almost let the entire month of October go by without posting.  So glad that I've got time to kill here on the post-Sandy east coast, where we are all in recovery mode after last night's crazy storm.

hugs for the japanese maple who survived intact

other trees weren't as lucky

exhibit a

a little too heavy to drag

where DO the tough go during a hurricane?

to run laps on the track, of course! (only possible because Sandy ripped the fence down)
We were extremely lucky, spared discomfort (only lost power for about 8 hours) and damage to any of our property.  The worst part was fearing that the gusts of wind were going to blow clear through our windows late last night.  To help alleviate that fear, I did a bit of meditation last night with a lovely lit candle by my side, focusing on both my breath as well as the wind, which were often hard to separate.

I am particularly grateful that my family is healthy tonight, that no one was in a hospital that lost power, and that no one relies on electricity-dependent medical equipment to breathe or receive life saving meds.


The past few months have been busy ones:  our family trip to Woodloch Resort, adventures in my new job working with Philadelphia teachers, the birth of our newest niece, a high school reunion, a new acupuncturist, Light the Night 2012, Judah in the ER for croup (AGAIN), cheering on lacrosse players at the Headstrong Lacrosse Tournament, joining a new meditation group, and helping Judah navigate the new waters of Kindergarten at our neighborhood school.  It has taken a hurricane to give me a chance to slow down and write again.

honorary captain

woodloch breakfast

woodloch bumper cars (Judah votes this as his #1 favorite activity out of 300)

Team Mama Mia representing at LTN 2012

after first week at new job.  nuff said.

2nd bout of croup this year :(

first kindergarten field trip 

back on the cushion
Storybook parade - Judah is Jeremy Jacob from How I Became A Pirate

And while I'm still trying to find the new normal (blah blah blah), the photographs make it seem as though we're already in it.  My hair feels more familiar, I cope the best I can with the still-lingering effects of treatment, I continue to visit my therapist weekly...

I realized after mindlessly watching Eat, Pray, Love (the book was def worlds better than the movie, but sometimes you gotta settle) for the 6th time the other night that I, like Liz Gilmore, am also working at forgiving myself.  Gilmore was recovering from a divorce that she ultimately blamed herself for causing (as did her ex-husband).  But her journey of self-discovery through Italy, India, and Indonesia ultimately rests on her ability to enjoy life again.  She believes she's done that after eating her way through all of Italy, but when she gets to India, she can't rely on her tastebuds to distract her anymore and she is forced to learn how to quiet her thoughts.

Now, seeing a lot of parallels to my own emotional journey, I have gone back to meditation to help me feel more in control.  It's funny because when you are focused on your breath, or someone else's voice, you aren't changing your mindset, you have just focused your brainpower away from turbulent thoughts.  Instead of allowing your mind to spiral out of control with fears of the future, you switch gears and let go altogether.

Well, anyway, I'm working on it.  I didn't want any of my fellow cancer warriors to think I'd forgotten about keeping this blog current.  I hope you'll continue to comment, send messages, and share your own adventures.  It always helps me to feel like I'm not the only one on the path to regain stability.

ps. drink up

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