|we survived birthday #5|
|best mother's day ever|
My hair is looking more normal, especially when it's not 100% humidity and 80 degrees outside. Living in a temperate climate makes life so exciting, right? And so it's strange to look in the mirror and begin to see myself again. After two years of uncertainty, of baldness, of weight loss and weight gain, of fear and shock and grief and anger, sadness and pain, the clouds are starting to pass. It's a peculiar feeling, that you can un-inhabit your body and then rejoin yourself after a time.
Two years ago I was blind to the future. When I think about myself on 5/26/2010, sitting in my doctor's office, hearing words I couldn't comprehend, I had no idea. I just had no clue what was coming. And now I feel so sad and pitiful for that very unknowing girl. Sad and scared. 10 minutes before, I was just looking for some allergy meds to stop the itching. Literally in an instant, all of our lives were changed. The before and after are so starkly different and yet, it's still me here.
*SIDENOTE: Like my therapist says, there are still two things you never ask a woman: Are you pregnant? or Are you [still] trying to get pregnant? Both are completely off limits, thank you very much, no matter how close you may think you are to the woman. Hard to believe that some people cannot grasp the concept of some information being private (even for ME). "How are you doing?" will suffice.
I hope you'll join me as I continue to make an effort to stay present in this next chapter (year 3). Enjoy moments as they are happening without projecting and predicting the future. Tell people you love them and have dance parties in the kitchen.
Thanks for sticking with me..
|these are for you|